The lesson I learned in my 30s that changed how I live my life


Although we think we do most of our learning during our teenage years or as children at school, the truth is that we learn the most after we have graduated, and are let loose in the big wide world. That said, when we begin our life learning, outside of the classroom, or away from our parents, we begin to understand that in real life, no one can tell us what the answers are, and if we have got them right.

What is right?

When we did a test at school, the correct answers were already determined. We learned what was right by the grades we were given, the marks on our school work, or the verbal cues we received from the adults around us. Now, however, there is no one to tell us when we have found the right answer, or even if there is a right answer. When is the right time to move house? Have I found the right partner? Is this the right job?

Endless opportunities

Unlike a multiple choice exam, where we can select one of four answers, one of which is undoubtedly right, life gives us a whole host of potential answers. Unlike reading comprehension, we are not given 100% of the information, and never will be, and so it is impossible to compare all the options available – you won’t even come across all of the possible options!

There is no right answer

There are no right answers in life, just a series of decisions to make and consequences to experience. Society or those around you may act as though there is a right way to do things, the right order to live your life, but actually, there is no confirmed right way. This is both wonderful and terrifying.

It’s your choice

If you let go of the pressure to find the right answer, knowing now that the right answer doesn’t exist, you free yourself up to make the decisions that are ‘right’ for you. Knowing that no decision is right, gives you the freedom to make choices, and change your mind as you go along. Become adaptable and post-rationalize your choices to allow you to feel as though you are always making the right decisions – even when the right decision is a fallacy.

Live your best life

Allow yourself to think about a decision you have been putting off making, for fear of not making the right choice. Ask yourself what it is that you are really searching for? How will this decision fit into that picture? And most importantly, how does that choice make you feel? Are you making a decision based on what you think is ‘right’? Let go of logic and let your intuition (your heart, your gut feeling, whatever you like to think of it as) take the lead. This will be the ‘right’ decision for you, which is ultimately the best decision you can make.

Remember, there are no right answers, so free yourself to explore, make decisions based on your heart, and create a life that is right for you.