Although arguments can be stressful times, they are a regular part of forming bonds and relationships with others – whether we like it or not. While they may be unavoidable, it looks as though there could be some key phrases to avoid if you want to get the most out of your altercation.
“Why are you overreacting about nothing?”
Ooo, now this is a doozie. Implying that someone is getting upset about nothing makes it seem as though you feel they have no reason to be upset. This is one way to really poke the fire if you’re looking for a reaction from someone. What is nothing to you could be everything to someone else. It’s probably better to ask why the situation is upsetting them so much to avoid hurting their feelings. After all, they may just want someone to hear them out.
“I’m done!/I’m leaving!”
Although you may want to get as far away from the situation as possible, it’s important to think about the repercussion of your words. Do you really feel as though you’re done with your relationship or friendship, or are you done with the argument? You may not always be able to take your words back, and saying that you’re calling it a day could be the end of the relationship – even if you didn’t mean it. Instead, it’s best to try and calm down before saying anything you regret.
“You always/never…”
Perhaps you are trying to make a point about how often – or not – they do something? While it may make you feel better for a short time, it’s likely that they will respond with many examples to disprove your point. If you’re looking for a circular argument, then you may have found the perfect solution. If you’re looking for a way to resolve the issue then maybe try and calmly use facts about certain times they did or didn’t do something.
Name-calling
It may make you feel better for a split second, but chances are you won’t feel so great about yourself a few seconds after the words have left your lips. Calling someone names or using curse words is usually a sure fire way to get a response. This is because they are typically used as an attack rather than looking for a way to resolve the issue at hand. Explaining how you feel will not only help to work through the problem, but it will also help you to keep the respect of others.
“Can’t you leave it already?”
Heavy sighs, eye rolling, and tutting are clear signs that you’re done with having the same conversation over and over again. Sadly, this will probably come across as though you don’t respect their opinions and you’re not willing to help change the situation. Phrases similar to this are likely to ramp up the argument to the next level. Probably not a good move. If the person feels as though they need to bring it up again it’s usually because they want to work past the issue rather than walk away from the relationship.
It might be hard, but sometimes taking a moment to calm down and think about what you’re going to say could save a heap of damage in the long run. You don’t want to be the one to look like a bad person; just keep your composure and avoid these sticks of argument dynamite.
